Tips For Moms on How To Gain Their Identity and Get Back on Their Feet

| Personal


This past weekend, I spoke on the panel for UniCon LA, hosted by Unicorn Moms, which is a Facebook group that formed for moms who like to have a good time. The Facebook page is one of the biggest mom forums out there, reaching a community of more than 40,000 loyal moms.

I was honored to speak on the panel again. I talked to moms who had traveled from all across the country to hear the speeches, meet other moms and share their thoughts and views about life and mommyhood.

During a panel, a woman stood up and had a difficult time asking her question. This beautiful mom was shaking and crying. Once she worked up the courage to speak, she talked about how she’d lost herself as a mother. She felt that she had sacrificed herself for her husband to have a career. She wanted to start her own career, but didn’t know how.

First off, it was very courageous of her to leave her house, leave her children at home and take a chance and a first step by attending the conference. That alone proved she was ready to take action.

I want to share with you guys the advice I gave her. I’m sure someone is reading this who is trying to find themselves and their identity, and could use some words of encouragement.

I asked her what her passion was and, she said she likes makeup and hair. So I told her to start educating herself about hair and beauty at home when the kids are sleeping. That can be as simple as taking online classes or just watching YouTube beauty tutorials. Some of the best hair and makeup artists I’ve worked with haven’t even been to beauty school; they’re entirely self-taught. I remember one makeup artist who told me he watches other people’s tutorials with the sound off so he can just focus on the technique.

My next bit of advice for this mom, or you out there like her, was to practice what you learn on family, friends, neighbors or anyone who wants to get their makeup done. Then start posting pictures of your on Instagram, using an account you create strictly for makeup. Create your signature look and have fun with the makeup pics you create for the ‘Gram.

The most important thing is to be consistent with your work, whether that means weekly posts or daily posts.

And it’s crucial to remember when starting a career that it takes time. Things won’t happen overnight. Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither was Oprah.

It’s an amazing time for moms to be able to create jobs for themselves while still being at home. With technology, everything is under your fingertips, and you don’t really need to leave your house to make money. For example, I have a cousin who is a stay-at-home mom and who makes money just selling her unwanted and unused stuff on Poshmark.

There are so many avenues to make cash, and all you have to do is take that first step and believe in yourself.


Being a mother is the most rewarding thing in the world. But raising a family is very difficult, and I believe it’s harder to be a stay-at-home mom than a working mom. Because a stay-at-home mom deals with so much that revolves around her kids, and she hardly ever leaves the house, especially when the kids are under the age of 3. You can develop cabin fever and get overwhelmed so easily. Maybe not every mother goes through it or has feelings like that, but there are a lot of moms who know exactly what I’m talking about.

I’ve been there. I thought I was going to lose my mind and just felt so lost when I was on maternity leave. I loved spending time with my kids at home, but, at the same time, I didn’t feel creative. For a classic Type A personality like mine, I like to stay working and creative. I’m still figuring out how to balance everything as a “mompreneur.” But I’m not perfect, and always feel guilty the second I leave for work. Even when I left the house to go to UniCon, I felt horrible leaving my kids at home, because it was a Saturday, and we normally have a routine on Saturdays that we enjoy and rely on.

So whether you’re working or not, there’s no easy route for a mother. But one thing that I can tell you with confidence is this: Always follow your heart and your gut. That’s the best way to know how to do things in your life that will work for you.